Sandy Hook

The unspeakable happened last Friday in quiet Newtown, Connecticut. Violence also erupted in a village school in Henan, China, when a man attacked school children with a knife.

In the midst of unthinkable tragedies, emotions abound, political discussions heat up, and philosophical and theological questions become a norm. As some question why this happened, some wonder what could be done.

While we outsiders want to help and to address the overarching issues, perhaps we can also pray for the families who are suffering a sorrow few of us can ever understand. In the Chinese culture, there is this phrase of "white-headed people sending off black-headed ones." It is a metaphor to express the grief of parents burying their children. Unless we walk in their shoes, we will never understand what it is like for the parents to be planning the funerals of their young children instead of buying them Christmas presents and anticipating the glow in their eyes and the smiles on their faces when they open them.  Perhaps we can also pray for the teachers, staff and students who were at the school that day and lived. Their survivor's guilt and emotional scar will linger for a long time to come.

We don't always get the answers as to why evil things happen, but it is comforting to see the outpouring of compassion and love within Newtown as well as throughout the country after the tragedy. Think of the heroic acts of the principal and teachers who laid down their lives for their students, the kind act of the neighbor who took in and comforted several children who managed to escape the shooting, the wonderful deed of JetBlue Airways to overnight and deliver a 6-year-old boy's letter cross-country from Washington state in time for his 6-year-old cousin's funeral, or the touching tribute of a football player to his fan.

In the midst of unspeakable evil, there is hope, there is light. As we celebrate Christmas, may we also see the light and hope in the world of darkness in the form of a baby who was born in a lowly manger to bring hope and goodwill to mankind.

Locks of Love III

It had been over two years since I last donated my hair. My hair had gotten long enough to donate again so a few weeks ago, I had another 12 inches of hair cut to donate to Locks of Love. It was wonderful to be able to do this again!

Before

 

After

Birthday

I had a wonderful birthday recently.

It was the best birthday in a number of years, not only because Hubby did a wonderful job planning the celebration as usual, but also because my way of thinking about birthdays had changed for the better.

When my grandmother passed way at the end of 2004, I developed this acute sense about death. It was neither a knee-jerk reaction to my grandmother's passing, nor was it an unhealthy preoccupation. I mourned, yes, but as I watched my grandmother depart this world at the hospice, leaving a permanent hole in my heart, I also had an incredible peace within me. While I was extremely thankful to be able to go back to Hong Kong in time to be with Grandma during her final days, I was also hopeful that I would see her again in heaven. Hopeful, because I knew a church nearby had visited with her at the hospice and shared Jesus with her. Although Grandma could not talk and I did not have her verbal confirmation that she had accepted Jesus into her heart as her Lord and Savior, the peaceful and beautiful way she passed let me know that she was safely in God's hands. Forever. As I thought more about death, I was also thinking more about heaven, about eternal life with Jesus. I wondered what it was like to be in heaven. Perhaps that is why MercyMe's I Can Only Imagine has remained one of my favorite songs (see video below).

Later, however, as my grief subsided and as I grew a few years older, I became more preoccupied with my journey on earth. At the same time, I was not enjoying getting older, and I became decreasingly open with my age. I was focused on the many goals for which to strive. Little did I know I was losing sight that my journey on earth was just that. A journey on earth. Without a doubt, I knew I was going to heaven after I died. However, I was not longing for heaven the way many first-century Christians were - and many twenty-first century fellow believers under severe persecution still are.

A number of years ago, Hubby wrote me a poem for my birthday and I loved it. There was a line about getting older and getting closer to heaven. I did not fully understand it at the time, but I think I do now. I was too preoccupied with my earthly journey, equating age with things I should be accomplishing. I am still getting older, but instead of secretly fretting over the times past and wondering if I have accomplished everything I should, I have learned that my focus is not on earth, but on heaven. For as long as I am here, I will do what God wants me to do to make a difference and to bring him glory. Yet, I also look forward to getting closer to my real home. My eternal home. I still wonder what I would do when I meet Jesus in heaven, but I have no doubt that I will love it. From now on, I will celebrate my birthday with joy, because it no longer means I am getting older, it means I am getting close to home.

I had a wonderful birthday indeed.