Valentine Forever

She is burying him today, Valentine's Day.

They were married for half a century. Inseparable all these years, they had their share of ups and downs. They went through the loss of a son; they also had the joy of seeing their grandchildren marry the loves of their lives.  He loved her with all his heart. He look at her with tenderness, and he had the most wonderful smiles.

He lit up the world around him. If you had been near him, your day would just be full of sunshine and happiness, no matter what the weather was like. I had been one of the many, many lucky ones whose lives he had touched and made better. I had been around him on different occasions - graduation, wedding (my own), and other visits. I cannot think of any couple who was happier or complemented each other any better.

They have been grandparent figures to us. Hubby and his sisters lost their grandparents early. But when they were growing up, they had the joy of having them nearby. I could understand how blessed they were when Hubby and I got married. I gained a new set of wonderful grandparents too.

I am so glad I got to know him. Although we could no longer spend time together on this earth, I look forward to the day when I could see him again in heaven. For now, I will cherish the memories and remember what Helen Keller once wrote -

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.

Carpe Diem

It has been a long time since my last post. I hope you have been well.

I woke up this morning (I am half a day ahead in Asia) to the sad news of Robin Williams's passing, which took me to a roller coaster ride of emotions.

I have not seen all of his films and TV shows, nor have I seen most of his classic comedies which have brought so much laughter. His impact on me has been from his more dramatic roles.

Among his many movies, Good Will Hunting is my favorite. He was brilliant as Sean Mcguire (and I am glad he won an Oscar for it) and there were many memorable dialogues between Sean and Will, the lead character, played by Matt Damon. Among them, the "it's not your fault" scene was so gentle yet powerful that it not only brought Will to tears, it also did the same to me as audience.

And I will not forget him as John Keating in Dead Poets Society. "Carpe diem (seize the day)," he said. Years before I knew it was him who said it, one of my best friends had quoted it. When I watched the movie, I finally understood the meaning behind the phrase, which has been with me since.

I am saddened by the news of his passing, and the fact that an actor so brilliant and talented who brought so much laughter to others was battling severe depression himself. I have seen the impact of depression, as I know people who were and are fighting it. I cannot imagine what he was going through and how many times he went through the hopelessness, but I want to be able to do my part and help break the stigma, and to be there for others who might need a hug or a listening ear.

Today, August 12, has a special meaning for me, as it is the anniversary of my arrival in the U.S. in pursuit of my dreams, and only by the grace of God, this journey has changed me for the better and in ways I could have never imagined. This morning, as I read the news and saw some of the movie clips to remember a one-of-a-kind actor, my disbelief, shock, and sadness was turned to hope, motivation, and resolve to make every day count. Robin, thank you for bringing us endless laughter, but even more so, your famous phrase.

Carpe diem.

Driven to Sin?

I shared this true story at my Bible study group last night. The reception and feedback from my ladies prompted me to pray about writing this down and sharing it. So here it is and I hope you are encouraged!

I was on my way to my tennis match on Saturday afternoon when it happened. It was less than five minutes and two traffic lights before my left turn when a pick-up truck cut in front of me as the light was turning red. I was not upset, not even annoyed. However, as we waited for the light to turn green, I became fixated on the truck, to the point when the traffic light changed colors, I was not focused on where I needed to go and was just following the truck. The driver turned left early onto the interstate highway. Instead of going straight to the next left turn lane, I did what the driver did. The next thing I knew, I was on the way to getting on the highway, which was not at all where I needed to be. I had to detour to get to the tennis courts which took an extra ten minutes. Thankfully, I was still able to get to the courts early.

God used this bizarre episode to drive home an important point on sin for me. We had been studying the Book of Romans in our Bible study and we had been talking a lot about law and grace, the old self and the new self, flesh and the spirit, among many other things. Our pastor also talked about sin as he preached on the Holy Spirit last Sunday. So I had been thinking about the topic of sin, and it dawned on me that sin operated very much like the way I drove during those few minutes.

When the pick-up truck cut in front of me, I became distracted rather than staying focused on where I was supposed to go. Instead of staying the course, I mindlessly followed the truck and got to a place I did not need to be. As a result, I was off course, and I lost time to the detour. Only by God's grace was my path corrected and I got to where I was supposed to be.

Oh sin, how cunning are you. You distract me when I am on my guard the least. You take me to places I don't need to be, and you take me farther away than I want to go.

But I am thankful to my awesome God, who provides a way out when I am distracted and lose my way!