Cheesecake

A few years ago, I began observing Lent occasionally by cutting out one thing that I usually ate or did or use, in order to help me adjust my focus during the weeks leading up to Easter.

This year, I cut out sweets (desserts, candy, chocolate etc.). I did not have much of a sweet tooth, but I did need to consciously not grab a cookie in the break room at work just because they were there, or have a bowl of ice cream at home after dinner. I had actually anticipated a more difficult time, but a couple of times after I began doing it, it was seemingly going well.

Until two weeks ago.

I was at a work-related lunch event and we were at a fancy restaurant on campus where the full buffet was served. When I was getting my soup and salad at the beginning, I passed by the dessert bar and the cheese cake looked fantastic. Towards the end of lunch, I went to get a piece of that cheesecake, without thinking twice about it. I had forgotten I was not eating sweets!

The cheesecake was great, but I did not enjoy it. I fell quite casually - all because I was not on guard and not focused. I have since then become more aware of bypassing the sweets and it has been going great. Last week, my colleague offered me a handful of candy and I had no problem saying no at all.; and there have been cookies in the break room for a few days and I just walk past them.

The point here is not how much "my effort" counts. If anything, it is about how much "my effort" does not count. It does not matter whether I skip the cheesecake or devour the whole dessert bar, if my heart or my motivation is not right. Doing something external (choosing to eat or not to eat something) is only a personal reminder for me this season to focus and to think more deeply and seriously about Jesus's crucifixion and resurrection, what He went through for me on the Cross. The cheesecake incident was a slip, yet it also was a great reminder of the wonderful grace that I was trying to ponder during this Lenten season. I was no more a Christian five minutes before eating that piece of cheesecake than the five minutes after.

God's grace is available to all who trusts Him and receives Him, whether we eat any cheesecake or not.